This year has seemed to be a year of change for me. Looking back on the first quarter of 2014, I have sent myself back to church, picked up books again, started writing once more and began working on my health. What boggles me is how unplanned it has been. Everything just fell into place. For someone who plans everything, months in advance, this change just seems odd…but it makes me happy, so I guess I will roll with it.
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I have been attempting to get myself back to church for years. I was raised Catholic and grew up where not going to church was not an option. When I moved away the habit didn’t stick but there was always a voice in my head telling me I needed to get my ass back into one of them pews. Seven years later, I’m back. I attend the Cathedral downtown before work once a week. I am totally down with the weekday mass; no hoopla, just the bare bones mass. I have enjoyed having something to reflect on throughout the day and even week. It adds a little light to the darkness, pushes positivity and gives me a new outlook. I like it.
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Starting to read again has also brought me joy. Last year I took on a year-long paralegal course. With full-time work, full-time school and a house to run, leisurely reading really wasn’t an option. But not until I picked up a novel a few months back did I recall how much I missed reading, or should I say escaping. Falling into the lives of others, feelings their feelings, seeing their sites, it’s the best. A book can make me appreciate what I have or dream bigger dreams. I am so thankful I found them again. I am also glad I found the library…shit can get expensive when you buy all your books.
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Writing. Jotting. Blogging. I’mmmmmm baaacccck. The one and probably only thing I am grateful for when it comes to my high school education is that it taught me the importance of writing. (Thanks Mrs Potts!) I am no good at getting all the rules straight but the art of writing my thoughts downs and telling my story has brought much inner peace. You have no clue how loud my brain is. I know everyone says that, but I am not joking, the damn thing gives me anxiety attacks on the regular. I wrote a lot at the beginning of my young adult life but since starting my career, writing has really taken a back seat. I still write millions of lists and calendar like crazy but my real thoughts and ideas have stayed stuck in my brain. Alas, it has gotten too loud. I am over it. I want to be able to go to sleep at night. This seems to be helpful, and i am grateful for that.
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My health. Ugh. First it must be said that I come from a family that loves food. Food brings us together. And I am not talking carrots and celery, more like salami and brie. In addition, I am married to the skinniest junk food eater around. Ding Dongs and HoHos. Fried chicken and mashed potatoes. The dude loses weight eating mass amounts of this stuff. Staying healthy in the bubble I live in is definitely difficult. I am not in any way blaming these people, I am just stating the fact that will power is a necessity for me to live a healthy life. Will power has always been difficult for me to find when it comes to my health but I think I had my epiphany and will power has appeared, stronger than ever. I hope and pray I can keep this up. I am currently transitioning into a slow carb lifestyle. So far I have really enjoyed it, though difficult, I feel accomplished. My goal is to stop being ashamed of my appearance. Though a difficult task I really hope I can accomplish it.
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Four months in and already four significant changes. I can’t imagine what the rest of the year will bring! Maybe it will be a year of quest for inner happiness…I will let you know in December.
“The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability” -Remmy. Ratatouille
Growing As The Days Pass 