This month my older brother would be enjoying his 29th year of life. Unfortunately he was only given the opportunity to enjoy 17. His unexpected death brought about a lot of darkness. You often hear the question, if you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? Ryan automatically pops into my head. I’ve actually thought a lot about it though and, I know this sounds awful, but sometimes I think maybe I wouldn’t change anything. I miss my brother terribly, the loss brought about so much pain to my family and I but, as it does, life continued on, and happy things came about. My family would never be as close as we are today, nor would I likely have the relationships I cherish most today. If not for my brother’s death, I would have never created a bond with my aunt, who pushed me to go to a university, where I then met my husband. I probably wouldn’t have majored in Criminology, therefore not having the career I have today. That one night, completely changed my future.
For years, that question has kept me up at night; Would I change the past? I don’t know, and I just have to accept that.
“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
Growing As The Days Pass 